There are days when being trapped inside a human skin suit can just get wearing. See how I did that? God I kill me sometimes.
Unlike those guys behind me, who really do want to kill me.
Why, you ask? Do I really have time for questions while I run for my life down a filthy alley? Well sure, Captain Hindsight. Why not?
Like I was saying, these skin suits get itchy. Every now and again, I’ll slip out and stretch in the warm sun. They must’ve seen me.
I know, I know, the High Overlord says we’ve got to blend in. We don’t want them to know that were here and these things will help with a smooth take over. But they’re itchy.
Their insides catch on my scales. The ribs cut into me when I’m trying to digest a pig. And don’t get me started on those leg things. I mean seriously, who needs two of them?
Great. Now they’re throwing things at me. Could this day get any worse? Oh yes, of course it can. My tail is slipping inside the left leg casing and the ankle is all bunched up down there like a bad sock.
I’d curse them out but I’m already sticking out of the mouth hole of this thing. I taste the air and realize that I’ve run out of alleys to run down. I’m stuck in one of those small open plots you find in the city sometimes.
Well, I best shed this skin and slither out of here. I’m going to catch plenty of hell for the lost flesh bag. No need to give credence to a conspiracy theory or two.
(image courtesy of Ryan McGuire of http://www.gratisography.com/)